Struggled Trust
by natalia.9614
Summary: Important authour's note at the end. Deciding what to do with my story's hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

Clare Edwards was getting dressed in the bathroom for her first day of Degrassi. Whoop-di-freakin-do… She was excited to get out of her old catholic school, though. She was really devoted to her religion, but some of their rules were just ridiculous, especially the one that got her and her twin kicked out.

BANG BANG BANG! A loud knock on the bathroom door jarred her out of her thoughts.

"CLARE! I need to put my bandages on! We're gonna be late!"

"I'll be right out Grac- um- I mean, Adam. Sorry, not quite used to it yet." She mentally slapped herself for having pronoun problems when Adam was still sensitive about the change. Clare just had spent all her life with her twin sister Gracie who, just a month ago, became her twin brother, Adam. Clare fully accepted it with open arms, but their school didn't. Adam was given two choices- go back to dressing as a girl and staying at St. Mary's Catholic Preparatory School or be who he really was and be expelled. He chose to finally have the courage to be a "he" and left without another word. Clare really didn't have to leave too, but they had never been separated before in their life, and she wasn't about to abandon her brother when he needed her the most.

"It's fine just let me in already!" _Sheesh, someone's anxious_, she thought. She finished applying her make-up and opened the door.

"Okay, I need some privacy, now, get out" Adam said as he pushed Clare out the door. He needed to put the bandages, make them the most comfortable as possible (even though that isn't really saying much), get cleaned up, and give himself a mirror pep talk for his first day of public school…as Adam.

"Okay, you are going to be fine. No one is going to find out and, even if they do, you'll still always have Clare. C'mon, you're the man. You can do this. Degrassi is a new start and everything will work out". That didn't really calm his nerves much but that's all he could do.

"ADAM! Stop talking to yourself and get your butt in the car! I have a granola bar for you cause we're now officially late! Gosh!" Adam scoffed at his unbelievable sister. Sure she was annoying at times…okay, 95% of the time, but she had been there for him whenever he needed her, even when he didn't think he needed her, she was still there to help him in one way or another. She even went out with him and bought him his first hair-cut, set of bandages, and "guy wardrobe".

Another long bang on the door caused him to finally open the door and run past his sister to the car, yelling "SHOTGUN!" Clare simply rolled her eyes, scoffed and dragged herself to the backseat.

"You guys excited for your new school?" Helen Edwards, their mom, cheerily asked them on their drive over to Degrassi. She was also very accepting of her now-son's decision. She had known for a long time and was just wondering when her child would officially make the change. So had their father, really. Actually, their whole family was pretty understanding, and that pleased Adam to no end.

"Sure" "I guess" they both mumbled. They were both happy to get away from their old school but this was a public school known for stabbings, STD outbreaks, pregnancies, and they really didn't know what to expect. The rest of the ride was silent; not awkward, just silent until they arrived on the school grounds. They both got out saying bye and waving to their mom, who soon drove off, leaving them to start whatever was ahead of them for the next 2 and a half years. Adam timed his change so that if people didn't accept him, he could be away from it all for Christmas break, at least. When he got kicked out, they just transferred to Degrassi, mid-year.

As they made their way up the steps of the school, they noticed people staring. Not at Adam or just any people staring, but boys staring at Clare. During Christmas break, apparently the season of transformation, she decided to get her braces off, chop off her long hair, and get a new wardrobe that stopped hiding her well-developed, thin-yet-curvy body. She didn't overdo it, though. She wasn't gonna look like a slut now but she decided it was time to be proud of her shape and show it off. Adam was happy for his sister's newfound confidence, as well as his own, finally being the person he was supposed to be, but he really didn't like all the attention these boys were giving her baby sister (he was two minutes older so she was his baby sister!). Her beautiful, big, blue eyes didn't help either but, of course, the guys weren't staring at her eyes. All but one weren't, at least.

Eli was sitting on the steps of Degrassi, reading Chuck Palahniuk's _Invisible Monsters_ for the third time and heard multiple gasps. He looked up from his book only to catch the sight of the most beautiful blue eyes he'd seen in his life. He nearly dropped his book as he felt his limbs go numb. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't peel his eyes away from hers.

Just as Clare was about to enter the building, she looked at Adam and then looked around the audience that had formed around her, finally realizing what her brother had been grimacing at. She could already feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. She was actually feeling slightly violated with all eyes on her body. As she finished scanning the people guys staring at her, she stopped at once, meeting with a pair of striking green eyes, the only ones who seemed disinterested with her curves, but more with her blue orbs. She almost forgot how to walk until she snapped her head away and caught herself before she embarrassed herself.

After, Adam and she found the administration's office and got their schedules, Adam was talking excitedly about how this was a fresh start and how happy he was that Clare was in every single one of his classes, but Clare was more focused on trying to get the image of those gorgeous green eyes of of her head. She wasn't about to start anything with any guy now. Not again. She didn't dare trust any boy after the…incident. The only boy she needed was Adam, and she was happy with that. Now, if only she could get that pesky image away from her thoughts.

Eli, on the other hand, hadn't moved from his spot since seeing the most captivating eyes he had ever had the privilege to see. He made sure to keep the image in his mind for if he ever met the girl personally. He was so focused on her eyes, he hadn't even seen what the rest of her looked like. He could faintly remember her walking in with some guy by her side. _Shit! What if that was her boyfriend?_ he thought. _Calm yourself Eli, don't freak out over nothing yet. You haven't even met her. Pace yourself_. Soon, he snapped out of his daze and realized he was now late for class. He gathered up his belongings and ran to his first period Physics class.

While Adam was going through his first day nervously, hoping he could at least have a month before his secret was revealed, both Clare and Eli were still thinking of each other's eyes, not even paying attention to class. Eli dragged himself out of Media Immersions class and went to English . He sat in the same seat as last year and started coloring in his nails with a sharpie. As he was engrossed in his nails, her eyes still never leaving his mind for a second, he heard the teacher, Ms. Dawes clear her throat and say, "Class, I would like to welcome our two new students here: Adam and Clare Edwards." Eli stopped doodling for a second to look up at the same time that Clare looked over his way. They each were met with the eyes that had taken over their thoughts for the entire day. Eli was thrilled while Clare was now petrified.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey so, even though it wasn't much, thanks for the reviews for my very first story ever! Let me know how it's going, any ideas, questions, or constructive criticism in reviews! I hope I'm not disappointing anyone :/ **

"Clare, why don't you take the seat behind of Mr. Goldsworthy, and Adam can take the seat next to him. Please raise your hand Mr. Goldsworthy." said Ms. Dawes.

Eli, however wasn't listening as he was finally taking in the rest of the blue-eyed beauty standing before him. He went from her short, curly, auburn locks; back to the eyes that captivated him in the first place; then to her rosy cheeks, hiding the porcelain skin under them; then to her pouty red lips just waiting to be devoured; lastly, he noted her curvy figure that made him want to take her right then and there.

"Mr. Goldsworthy? Mr. Goldsworthy. ELI!"

"Huh? Wha?" Eli tore his gaze away from the girl awkwardly shifting in her spot, obviously realizing he was checking her out, to his teacher. Ms. Dawes had an impatient look on her face as she just decided to point to where the two new students should sit.

Clare was blushing madly as she went to sit while Eli's cheeks went slightly pink, but he moved his head down so no one could see. All the while, Adam was snickering to himself at the encounter he had just witnessed.

"Well then, class, welcome back from winter break! I will be splitting you up into partners that will edit each other's work for the rest of the semester. Mr. Goldsworthy, since you seem so smitten with Ms. Edwards, here, I'll do you a favor and pair you both up. Try not to get distracted."

If Eli was slightly blushing before, he just knew his cheeks must look on fire now. And he never blushes! He hasn't even said one word to this girl and she was already making him embarrass himself more in 5 minutes than he had all year.

While Eli was cheering in his head, just planning on where to go to work together, when he would make his move, what he would wear to their first meeting- basically having a girl's mindset for the moment- Clare didn't want anything to do with him. Getting close to some guy- even though he was amazingly attractive- was not an option. Not now, probably not ever. Suddenly she heard Eli obnoxiously question "Me?" Well, maybe he didn't even want to get to know her. That would certainly make things easier, but she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

Eli could not be more excited but he didn't want to look desperate; he had to tone it down a little. He questioned Ms. Dawes with a disinterested and skeptically sounding "Me?", sounding a little more harsh than he wanted to sound. _Good job, Eli. Way to sound like an ass._ He heard Clare scoff behind him and he knew this was not good. He wanted to slap himself but he decided against it, considering he had made enough of a scene for today.

"Yes you" said Ms. Dawes, "Class, I have a strong feeling we have a very special partnership on our hands, like Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes!"

"Sylvia Plath killed herself…" Clare retorted. Eli knew that was supposed to discourage him but, somehow it only made him like her even more. She had spunk…he liked spunk.

After Ms. Dawes read all the partners out, she started to announce "Class, your fist assignment will be a combined paper, at least 500 words, about the similarities between your partner's and your winter breaks. It will be an out-of-class essay. For the rest of the period, I want to begin our Shakespeare course." Class kept going as usual for the rest of the students but both Eli and Clare still had each other on their minds, the other having no idea.

By the end of class, Eli had done some thinking for strategizing. He decided, since she was gonna be difficult either way, and he had already made himself look indignant in class, why not have some more fun with her? He wasn't about to go and change himself COMPLETELY for this girl. He was still, after all, Eli Goldsworthy- the sarcastic, stubborn, dark kid who loved to get under people's skin. And he knew, with this specific skin, he would be having quite an amusing time.

As soon as the bell rang, he saw Clare making her way towards the door so he timed himself so that Clare and he would exit at the same time. As soon as he pushed past her through the exit, he looked back and smirked at her as he kept walking. She had a frustrated look on her face and he thought it was cute how her nose scrunched up. Oh yeah, he was definitely going to have fun with this.

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Eli finally got through the day, a little disappointed he didn't have Clare in anything but English,but was happy none of his teachers gave him any homework on the first day back. He decided to just go down to the comic book store and buy a few new comics. Since he didn't need anything, he just stuffed his entire backpack in his locker and walked out to Morty, his hearse. He drove over to the store, parked in front, and went in.

As he was skimming the new releases, he suddenly bumped into someone.

"Hey watch it!" he yelled in annoyance. When he looked up it was that guy who was with Clare. Her brother, he thought. _Ugh what was his name? Alex? Andrew? Adam? Adam! That's it!_

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. Um, Adam right? Clare's brother?" he said.

"Uh, yeah…Eli, right? The guy who can't stop checking out my sister?" said Adam with suspicious glare.

"Uh-er-d-um…" Eli stuttered, wide-eyed. He then went from stunned to utterly confused when he saw Adam doubled-over, laughing uncontrollably.

"HAHAHAHA Oh you should've *gasp* HAHAHA seen your HAHA face!" Adam fell to the floor, still not letting up on his laughing. Eli, now caught up, stood there with an annoyed expression waiting for the boy to quit laughing. "You done?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"…guess not…"

It was another full minute before Adam's laughing died down and he straightened up. As he wiped a tear from his eye he chuckled one last time before saying "Sorry, I couldn't resist. But, yeah I'm Adam, Clare's twin…brother." Eli was slightly confused at Adam's pause before saying "brother" but he shrugged it off. "Anyway, just a warning dude, don't bother with her. And, no this isn't my over-protective brother mode speaking. I mean she doesn't date…like at all…by choice."

"Well maybe I could change that" making sure not to have too much of a smug tone in his voice. This was Clare's brother, after all.

"Sure, go right ahead and try. It was just a warning. I actually wish she would date. I hate seeing her close herself off from everyone just because of ONE guy." Adam looked up at Eli, having a slightly guilty face on, like he wasn't supposed to say that.

"Um, what happened with that guy?" asked Eli, extremely interested.

"Yeah, I really shouldn't have said that. If you do succeed in winning her over, maybe she'll tell you. But it is for her to tell. Just, be warned, she really doesn't trust easily anymore." Adam looked somber when he was on this topic. He despised that jackass that damaged his sister so terribly. On one hand, he wanted to put the bastard in even more pain than he put Clare in; on the other hand, he never wanted him near his sister ever again.

Eli seemed to notice how distressed Adam was because he quickly tried to change the subject. He looked down at the boy's hand to see that he had the newest issue of "The Goon".

"Dude! You like 'The Goon'?"

"What? Oh, yeah. It's like the best comic of all time!"

The two stayed for another 2 hours in the comic store, talking about their favorite comics and getting to know each other. They were both surprised at how much they had in common. They both agreed to meet up again soon. They could both use a friend right now. As they exited the store, they exchanged phone numbers and started going their separate ways.

"Hey Adam!"

"Yeah?"

"It was great meeting you and…um…tell your sister I said hi, kay?"

"Haha sure, dude. Great meeting you too. See ya later."

And, with that, they both went home, secretly happy they weren't all that alone anymore.

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As soon as Adam walked into the door, he noticed Clare sitting on the couch, looking intensely in thought. Adorning a mischievous smile, he snuck behind Clare, bending down, right before jumping over the couch yelling "BOO!"

"HOLY SH-…ADAM! Gosh you know I hate that!" She moved away from where he was sitting and sat with her arms crossed, extremely annoyed.

As soon as his second laughing fit of the day subsided, he said "Geez, calm down princess. You didn't even notice me come in and I just couldn't resist. Speaking of, what were you so concentrated on? I doubt a blank TV screen is all that interesting to you."

"Uh-um, nothing, gosh, why are you so nosy!" She couldn't possibly tell her brother she was thinking of the beautiful green-eyed boy she met today. He would never let her live it down.

"Well, Ms. Dramatic, I was just asking! So guess what! As kindergarten as it sounds, I made a new friend today at the comic book store." He said with a proud smile, "In fact, it was your English partner, Eli. It was actually pretty funny how we started talking. We bumped into each other and I went all overprotective-big-brother on him about his eyes being glued to you all day and he freaked out! AHAHAHA it was so funny, you should've seen his face! But then I told him I was kidding and then we started talking about our lives and whatever. He's actually pretty cool. Oh, and by the way, he says hi."

To be honest, Clare zoned out after Adam said "Eli". The first moment she heard his name , an uncontrollable smile crept up on her face but it was quickly wiped away with what Adam's new friendship would mean. If they were friends now, Eli would be coming around the house a lot. Which meant that she had to see him more than necessary. Which meant it was going to be 100 times harder to forget his emerald orbs, his sexy smirk, and –oh god- his black skinny jeans!…SNAP OUT OF IT CLARE! You have morals! Stop having a dirty mind! Just do something to get your mind off of things.

Even though Adam was still talking about how he thinks Eli's an accepting guy and how they both like Dead Hand and comic books and whatnot, Clare just got up off the couch, grabbed her purse and went out the door. She would make up an excuse for Adam later. She was just taking a walk down the street, trying to find something fun to do along the way when she caught sight of a face she knew all too well.

"You've got to be kidding me…"


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- Hey sorry I forgot to mention that in this fic, Drew and Adam are not brothers and the whole Julia thing happened with Eli but it didn't affect him nearly as much as in the show. Sorry for the long wait, I've been dealing with a lot of shit and when I DO find time, I have no inspiration. But to make up for it, here's a really long chapter (3,000 words) So, here's chapter 3! Enjoy and review!**

_Shit shit shit shit shit! Maybe if I turn around right now, he won't notice me. _ She turned around basically getting in position to sprint back to her house when she hears her name called.

"Clare!"

_Greeeeat_. "Oh, hey Eli. Whatsup? What are you doing here?"

"Well, I assume you're my new neighbors." He said with a look of satisfaction plastered on his face.

"Oh, neighbors…well, I guess Adam will like that."

"Yeah, it will definitely be easier to come over and hang with him. I guess I'll be coming over a lot more then."

With as much sarcasm as she could muster up she said "Oh how lovely".

"You know, you can come closer, I don't bite…unless you want me to" He flashed his signature smirk while wiggling his eyebrows.

Rolling her eyes, she said "Nah, I'm good right here. In fact, I just realized my mom told me to go home like 10 minutes ago so I gotta go! Bye!" She got about 3 feet down the sidewalk when, once again, Eli calls her. _Uggggghhhh, can't he just leave me alone!_

"What Eli?" Clare said with more than a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Uh, well, I just wanted to ask when we should meet up to work on, you know, English and stuff?"

_English and stuff? Really Eli! Smooth…_ He was actually surprised at himself. Usually, he was more suave with his words. Where the hell was his charm when he needed it?

"Um, I guess we can meet up tomorrow at the Dot at noon?"

"Perfect, see you then."

With that, she turned on her heels and ran all the way back home. She slammed the door and started stomping on the stairs towards her bedroom, causing Adam to turn around from his spot on the couch.

"So, care to explain your dramatic exit?"

"NOT NOW!" She marched up to her room, slammed the door, flopped down on her bed and screamed into her pillow. No matter how many other things she tried to think of, she couldn't get Eli off of her mind. It was driving her insane! _I met this boy today and I already like him way more than I should…wait…hold up….did I just say that I like him? I, Clare Edwards, like Elijah Goldsworthy? The arrogant, sarcastic, gothic, comic-book-loving, gorgeous boy? Crap…Okay, it's not like liking him will change anything. Nothing is going to happen. I won't give him my trust. He won't hurt me. I won't let him. _With those reassuring thoughts and the exhaustion from the eventful first day, Clare drifted off to sleep, with every single dream that night involving her English partner and, now, crush.

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_Ahhhhh. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and I get to spend time with Clare Edwards today._ These were the abnormally cheery thoughts running through Eli's mind as he woke up. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table only to see it flashing 2:34.

"OH SHIT!" He was supposed to meet Clare at the Dot over 2 hours ago! He leaped out of bed and threw any clothes he could find on, grabbed his phone and his keys, and ran out the door. He figured Clare wouldn't be at the Dot after 2 and a half hours so he quickly dove over to Clare and Adam's house.

As soon as he got there, he didn't even turn off his car as he ran towards the door and rang the doorbell. He was pacing in front of the door thinking _God I screwed up big time! She's never going to forgive me and then I've really ruined my chances with her! SHIT! Well maybe if I apolog- _ His head snapped up as the head the door opened. A cheery looking Adam was standing in the doorway.

"Oh hey Eli. What's up?"

"Hey sorry I can't talk right now. Is your sister home?"

"Uh, yeah. But she came home really pissed today and she was even crying" Eli gulped and felt terrible when he heard he made the beautiful, amazing girl cry. "So I'm not sure it's a good idea to talk to her right now" Adam finished.

"Look, I really need to talk to her. Which room is hers?"

"Uh, upstairs, third door on the left."

"Thanks" With that, he rushed up the stairs and stopped dead in his tracks when he reached the third door on the left, Clare's bedroom. He brought his hand up, hesitantly, and knocked three times.

"God, Adam! I told you I really don't want to talk to anyone! Just go away!"

He slowly twisted the doorknob and opened the door to find Clare curled up on her bed, shaking slightly. _God, I'm such a monster. All I do is hurt the people that I lo- like. Yeah, I like Clare…that's it. But, maybe I shouldn't. Look where that got Julia. I can't do that to Clare. I should just leave her alone._ _She doesn't want me anyway. It would be better for both of us. Spare her the pain. _He turned around, as to not make any noise and was about to leave Clare when he heard her ask "Eli?". Well, she kind of squeaked his name.

He turned back around to face the beauty with blood-shot eyes and said "Hey". _Hey? God what is it about this girl that reduces my vocabulary to that of a 10 year old?_ She quickly tried to wipe away her tears, but the damage was done. Eli already saw them, he felt horrible, and she felt humiliated. I mean crying because a boy you just met stood you up for a STUDY date shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it was, to her at least. She knew she shouldn't trust him. He only wanted to play with her feelings and he won his stupid little game. She was just glad she saw his true colors before she would've inevitably gotten closer to him. She was done.

"Look, I'm really sorry about standing you up today, it's just-"

She cut him off "No, it's fine. I ended up finishing the assignment without you. You probably would've just made this longer than it needed to be anyway. I didn't need you. Now, unless you're here for Adam or something, you can go. I'll, uh, see you whenever Ms. Dawes assigns the next paper."

"No you don't get it."

"I get it just fine. Goodbye Elijah."

"Will you just stop talking and let me explain please!"

She stayed silent, but from shock, not obedience.

"Thank you. As I was saying, I didn't mean to blow you off today. I literally woke up at 2:30, got in my car, and drove here to apologize."

Clare started to feel a little better but he should've set an alarm. He's not getting off that easy.

"Why the hell did you sleep so late? Up late talking to your girlfriend or something?" She added scornfully.

"Uh, no. I was actually, um, well you see…uhm. I was…too excited about our study date to fall asleep." He mumbled the last part in hopes that she didn't hear but she heard, alright. She searched his face for any trace of dishonesty, hoping this was some lame-ass excuse to get out of being in trouble, and she could carry out her plans on staying away from him. But there was none. He was completely honest. As much as she wanted a reason to hate him and leave him behind, she couldn't help but let a smile creep up on her face. She looked back up at Eli and saw he was blushing and looking at the ground.

_God, he looks so adorable! No! Stop it Clare! Oh, what the hell. _ "Um, it's okay. I forgive you. And, uh, I was kind of lying about finishing the project…so… do you maybe want to possibly stay and work on it?" She said, trying to conceal her hopefulness but failing miserably.

Eli cheered in his head. "Yeah, I would love to!" He said a bit too enthusiastically. "Uh I mean, yeah, whatevs…" _Ugh, I'm just going to try to not make a fool out of myself for a while and just sit down._ He sat down on the computer chair and looked around awkwardly.

"You know, you can come sit on the bed with me. You know, so it's uh easier to…do…the assignment…yeah.." Eli looked up at Clare and saw she was basically the color of a tomato. He just couldn't help but tease her.

"Aww, do I make Clare-bear nervous?" He smirked and sat a little too close to the blushing girl on the bed.

"No! I just, um…shut up." She mumbled and looked away, hoping to find any distraction.

"You know, telling a guy to 'shut up' is not the way to his heart."

Her eyes snapped up to his and she said, "Well, what it I'm perfectly fine miles away from your heart?"

"Well, then I'd say you were lying" With every word he got closer and closer to her face, occasionally looking down at those plump red lips he just couldn't wait to devour. Surprisingly for them both, Clare didn't move away. In fact, she got closer; just barely, but she still inched closer.

Their lips were centimeters apart and they could both feel the magnetic pull on their mouths towards each other. Eli was just about to close the space between them when, of course, Adam barges through the door.

"Clare! I know you don't want to talk but mom says dinner is… oh. And what do we have here?" Adam said with a knowing smile on is face and his arms crossed.

"Uh, um nothing. Coming mom!" Clare pushed past her brother down to the kitchen, leaving Eli and Adam alone in Clare's room. Eli was shifting around uncomfortably while Adam was finding all of this highly entertaining.

"So, um. What's up, buddy?" Eli said, failing immensely at changing the subject.

"Oh, you know, watching t.v., reading "The Goon", being a cockblock for you and my sister" He said while finally laughing in the end.

"Yeah…about that…"

"Don't worry, I'm not an overprotective brother, remember? But, um, since I see you're actually breaking her walls down, just…make sure this is really what you want okay?"

"Adam, I have never liked a girl more in my life. Well, at this point in meeting them at least." He didn't want to sound bad but he knew he had to be honest with Adam. Adam merely nodded and said "Okay, so are you gonna stay for dinner? There's lasagna and a very uncomfortable and flushed Clare downstairs."

Eli couldn't help but laugh and said "Of course man. Wouldn't miss it."

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Adam and Eli walked down the stairs to the dining room. As soon as Adam saw the seating arrangements, he sat in the only chair that would leave Eli having to sit next to Clare. Although Adam had only known Eli for a couple of days, he trusted him. He was even going to tell him about his "secret" soon, but not just yet. Eli still had to prove himself just a little more. But he did know, however, that Eli could be good for his sister. He knew Eli really liked Clare and, even though Clare kept denying it, he knew she liked Eli as well. He really just wanted his sister to be happy and, even though he understood why Clare would want to keep people away, she wasn't happy. That, he knew for sure.

Eli soon caught on to Adam's little arrangement and smirked to himself. He took his seat next to Clare and glanced at her. She was looking at him but, as soon as she caught his stare, she looked away and felt the heat creep up to her face. Her hiding was ineffective, as Eli caught sight of her blush. He loved the reaction he got from her.

"So, Eli is it? I'm glad to see Adam finally find an accepting friend" Ms. Edwards broke the silence. Adam shot her a glare at her accidental hint. He just wasn't quite ready to tell Eli yet.

Eli was slightly confused from her choice of words but, nonetheless responded, "Um, yeah Adam's a great guy and we have a lot in common. Why wouldn't I accept him?" Eli asked rhetorically but, obviously, Ms. Edwards didn't understand that.

"Well, Adam's transition from Gracie was what forced the kids to transfer to Degrassi, so you could see why he would have trouble find-"

"MOM!" Adam shouted with wide eyes, frozen to his seat.

Ms. Edwards looked between Adam's hurt and worried face to Eli's shocked and confused face. Realization set in and she guiltily said "Oh, dear. Adam, you didn't tell him yet, did you? Oh Adam I'm so sorry, I thought he knew"

Adam stopped his mother's rambling by screaming "Of course he didn't know mom! I met him 3 days ago! God, and now you've ruined it! I'm sorry Eli, you can leave now if you want."

Adam got up and trudged out of the dining room up to his bedroom.

"Um, I'm really confused but I'm gonna go and talk to him. What room is his?"

A still pained Ms. Edwards responded saying it was the first door on the left.

Eli walked up the stairs slightly scared for what's to come for the second time today, but now it was to confront Adam. He didn't bother knocking and went right in to see Adam slumped down on his bed, sniffling softly. As he heard the door close, Adam looked up to see Eli standing there, still as confused as ever, but showing a very concerned face. Adam wiped the tears away as quickly as possible and, while still looking down asked "What are you still doing here?"

"Well, I'm confused as fuck as to what happened down there but I'm still your friend and when a friend is upset, a friend goes to check on him and try to comfort him."

"Well, I guess I might as well tell you and get it over with. Um, I'm an FTM, female to male transgender. I've always known but I officially made the transition from Gracie to Adam about a month ago. Since me and Clare went to a Catholic school, they told me that I would be expelled if I didn't change back. Well, I had just started to be happy and I wasn't about to go back to burning myself when I was forced to be a girl. Then, my whole family packed up and left to come here. I was going to tell you soon, but people at my old school didn't take too well to me. All the guys sent the girls to go and beat me up cause 'they couldn't hit a girl'. Well, the same rule applied to me, so I just had to sit there and take it. That same day, my first day as being Adam, the school kicked me out. So I understand if you don't want to be associated with a freak like me. Don't worry, you can still come around for Clare, I won't get in your way." The entire time Adam was explaining his story, he just couldn't look at Eli as more tears started to fall more furiously than before.

Eli walked over to Adam and sat next to him on the bed. "Adam, look at me." Adam wiped his tears, once more, and waited until he had calmed down to look up at Eli. "I don't care who you were a month ago. To me, you're Adam and you always will be. Those conservative douches at your old school had no right to do that to you. But I want you to know, I'll always have your back."

Adam smiled to Eli and gave him a bro hug, which Eli gladly accepted. "Thanks dude. Well, I'm glad I got that out of the way. But if I recall, there's still a pan of delicious lasagna getting cold downstairs." He said adding a chuckle at the end.

The both headed back downstairs and sat at their places again.

"Look Adam I'm so sorry. I really thought he knew. I wasn't thinking straight, can you please forgive me?" Ms. Edwards said looking more guilty than ever.

"Yeah, mom it's fine. I explained it all to Eli and he says he accepts me as I am and that he's always got my back. So, things turned out pretty good. But all that drama made me extra hungry so let's dig in."

Clare looked over to Eli just as he looked at her. She gave him an admiring smile and mouthed 'thank you'. He shrugged, meaning it was no big deal and looked away to scoop some lasagna onto his plate. Clare, on the other hand didn't stop staring at Eli. She saw him in a new light now. If Adam could trust him, maybe she could too. The rest of dinner was spent sharing stories and having light conversation. Clare's smile never left her face after the realization that maybe things could turn around for her now. Maybe she can actually be happy if she would just let Eli in. She would always catch Eli looking at her and, instead of looking away, she would just give him a small smile and return to their happy conversation.


	4. Chapter 4

Clare spent the rest of the night after dinner thinking about whether she should let Eli in or not. _I mean, not every guy is like _him_. But he could be. Adam might be able to trust him but I'm not Adam. _So, she decided she would need to get to know him better before she could open up. That should be easy enough, right?

After making up her mind, she decided to put her worrying aside and go to sleep, only to dream of those emerald irises and the cupid bow's lips she's come to love.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Clare walked into school early with confidence and headed straight towards Eli's locker to ask him to go to the Dot after school. As friends, of course. As she turned the corner, she looked down the hall but he wasn't there. He was always at his locker this early, usually reading the latest issue of The Goon or bobbing his head to some rock music with his ear-buds in. Adam would always want to come this early to join him. Well, this brought down her confidence a little. She would have to build it all up again whenever she saw him next.

As she turned to walk back to her locker to exchange her books, she heard a faint piano melody. She couldn't hear much but what she did hear sounded beautiful so she followed the sound to the music room. She didn't want to disturb the music so she silently creaked open the classroom's door and peeked in. There, sitting in front of the piano, dancing his sharpie-clad fingers expertly along the keys was Eli. Eli Goldsworthy, the gothic sarcastic writer, was also a magnificent pianist.

Clare shouldn't be surprised that he could play, but she was surprised at what he was playing. As she listened for another minute, she realized he was playing her favorite song- Hazy by Rosi Golan. She didn't even know he would listen to this type of music. Clare soon found herself softly singing along to the sweet melody.

_I watched you sleeping quietly in my bed_

_You don't know this now, but there are some things that need to be said_

_It's all that I can hear. _

_It's more than I can bear_

_What if I fall and hurt myself?_

_Would you know how to fix me?_

_What if I went and lost myself?_

_Would you know where to find me?_

_If I forgot who I am,_

_Would you please remind me?_

_Oh, 'cause without you things go hazy_

She must have been too engrossed in her singing that she didn't notice Eli stop playing and turn to look at the source of the voice. When she looked up, she saw a shocked and slightly embarrassed look on Eli's face.

"Uh, sorry. I just heard the music and it's my favorite song so I started to sing along to it and I didn't know I was singing so loudly and if I did I would've sto-"

Eli interrupted her rambling. "Hey, it's uh, it's fine. I just got here pretty early and felt like playing." All the while he was rubbing the back of his neck and looking away.

"Well, it was beautiful. I didn't know you could play. You're…amazing." She could feel the blood rush up to her cheeks so she looked down to try to hide it and bit her lip.

Eli, on the other hand, had no trace of embarrassment left in him after that comment. And, just for the record, he thought her lip-biting was extremely sexy, but he couldn't think about that now…or else he would have a humiliating problem with 'little Eli'. He shook those thoughts from his head and kept the conversation going.

"Thanks. I didn't know you could sing. We go well together; maybe we could meet up sometime and do this again". Clare caught on to his double meaning. So, she replied, "Yeah, that would be nice."

Eli expected her to reject him for some reason and before he could stop himself he asked "Really?" and he couldn't hide the joyful surprise from his tone.

Clare giggled, smiled and said "Yes, really. How about we meet up here again tomorrow morning to play another song together?"

"Sure but, what song?"

Clare immediately got nervous as she started asking her next question. "Well, why don't we um go to the Dot after school and talk about songs we both like and to hang out…and stuff."

Eli, clearly amused, just loved to see Clare flustered. "Clare Edwards! Are you asking me on a date?"

Clare swore she was darker than a tomato now and there was no use hiding it. "N-no. It's simply t-to discuss um songs. Yeah."

With his famous smirk on his face, Eli replied, "If you say so, Edwards".

**I don't want to say I'm putting this story on hiatus but school is getting really brutal PLUS I just got diagnosed with ADHD…..fun right? Anyway all I'm gonna say is that I hope I haven't lost any readers but I understand if I have. I'll try to update as much as possible but I can't promise anything, I'm also kind of not knowing where to go with this so if you have any suggestions, review and lemme know :) so sorry again and I'll try to make the next update longer than this. I was going to make this longer but I just realized I was never going to keep writing this chapter so I just decided to update what I had. Sorry again :S But please review and lemme know what you think of the story. Who knows? Maybe if I get a lot of reviews, it'll motivate me to update sooner ;)**


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**A/N: Yes, yes I know. Who do I think I am, coming back after 4 months with a lame excuse and no new chapter either? Well basically, I lost hope in EClare, school got even harder, I got a lot busier, and I generally just lost interest in writing. But now that summer is here and I have more time, I want to start writing again, especially since my EClare hope has been restored Well, that is…if you'll take me back…**

**BABY COME BACK!**

**YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME!**

…**Sorry, I couldn't resist…ANYWAY, I wanted to ask your opinions if anyone is even still reading this.**

**I read over my story and I just sound so cliché and so many things have happened with EClare and I don't even remember where I was going with this story either. SO, I could either:**

**Try to continue on with this story as best as I can manage**

**Drop this story/give it to someone else to continue and to move on to writing something else**

**So if you guys could let me know ASAP, I can start writing again, whatever it may be. Also, whichever you prefer, could you guys suggest some ideas, for a new story or what you'd like to see happen in this one? THANK YOU!**


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